Sunday, January 07, 2007

Happy 3 year Anniversary to me! It was on this date 3 years ago that I started my weight loss journey. I remember just wanting to lose 5-10 lbs before the upcoming John Mayer shows. I lost those 5-10 lbs and then some. It seemed so much easier back then, almost effortless. Now my weight fluctuates and I feel like I am constantly playing with 10 lbs. 2007 will be the year that I say goodbye to those 10 lbs. I know it. And with that I will look back on the year that was 2006.

For some reason, I think 2006 will be one of the best years of my life. I really learned a lot about myself and my body. I know I started to feel confident about myself and I hope others could tell. I realized I could hold the gaze of men. (Something I could never do before.) I also realized that men DO find me attractive (most recent evidence: men checked me out in Paris an my aunt noticed!), but just because they find me attractive doesn’t mean I have to like them. I can get the guy I thought I could never get and it is not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s definitely a mind trip having guys pay attention to me in ways they never did before. This year, I no longer became the “fat friend”, as awful as that stereotype is. However, there are still times I feel like I am. I am constantly reminded that almost everyone struggles with there weight. It is not always easy. I have thought for a while about what my reasons now are for losing weight.

When I started, it was purely superficial- I wanted to look good and buy smaller clothes. Now I want to make my body the healthiest and strongest body it can possibly be. If I have kids, I want to be able to play with them. I want my pregnancy to be healthy. I want to grow to be old and healthy. I want to look young for my age. I don’t want to be on the other side of the glass. (At the gym I work out at in Charleston the regular gym is on one side and then separated by a wall and glass windows is the “heart fit” gym for those who are recovering from illness or are elderly.)

So in 2007, I am starting off with a secret. Well my mom knows, but that’s it for right now. This is a challenge to myself. At this point it really isn’t about winning, but the feeling of accomplishment.

I wish you all the best of luck in your weight loss journey for 2007!